8d • General discussion
Your Reminder not to self-sabotage 'because it's Christmas'
It's the first of December and my god, am I glad I don't have to f*ck about with one of those creepy bastard elves anymore.
The sheer panic of remembering at 9am as the kids poured into my classroom that I'd forgotten to move it from the felt tip draw, and ruined the magic in the process, still haunts me!
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time if you have to endure it's presence.
Anyway, I just wanted to send you a quick message to remind you that enjoying Christmas is not a reason to self-sabotage all of the incredible progress you've made so far this year.
Let me just highlight what that might look like (and I'm speaking from much personal experience!) I've got 5 examples to share...
1. Abandoning habits with the promise to “Start in January.”
People stop exercising, meditating, journaling and doing the things that are essential for wellbeing because 'it's New Year soon'. This perfectionist mindset is so detrimental to maintaining momentum with your imperfect best effort now. Why the f*ck anyone thinks that in the most bleak, cold, dark section of the year we'll suddenly be flooded with motivation I'll never know.
2. Overspending to justify celebration or avoid emotional discomfort.
Many people use Christmas as a reason to buy impulsively whether that be on gifts, days out, decorations, food just to 'Keep up with the Jones'. Now I'm all for spending money from a place of abundance, (you know I preach about money mindset) but often at this time of year, it's more about numbing stress, insecurity, or fear of disappointing others. If it doesn't feel expansive, don't do it.
P.S (It's £186 for an M&S Beef Wellington - what in the 2055 is going on!?)
3. Taking on too much to appear generous, involved, or festive.
Saying yes to every event leads to burnout. Maybe you feel guilty for not being festive enough, so you overload your schedule and compromise health, boundaries, and emotional wellbeing. There will be some obnoxious parent at your kids school who take their kid every single festive event going and hand bakes 100 Santa cupcakes for the cake sale, that doesn't mean you have to. Spend an afternoon watching Christmas films together and stick a pack of Mr Kiplings from the Co-op in their school bag. Protecting your energy is key at this time of year, save it for those you really care about.
4. Using stress as a reason to escape with food, alcohol, or screen-time.
As much as Christmas can be magical, it can also be a lot of work and stress. In times of high stress, we often turn our emotional crutches. Be aware of when you are overeating crap you would never normally eat, drinking Baileys instead of water (guiiiiiltyyyyy 😆), and endlessly scrolling/watching telly just to try and relax. Of course it's ok to do a bit of all of those things but be intentional about enjoying it and consider if you want to feel like a walking spud as you step into the New Year. Emotional regulation is important in December more than ever.
5. Slipping into old family roles and beliefs that hold them back.
Here's the big one! Some of you will have worked incredibly hard to shed old identities and step into new, empowered ones so don't let anyone pull you back to that old state. At Christmas, we often spend time with people that we don't usually choose to. Relatives, old friends, neighbours, mother in laws. This new version of you will likely make them feel some discomfort. Be careful not to slip into old behaviour patterns of making yourself small, people pleasing, fixing other people's situations or anything that takes you out of your power. If your aunt Mildred has something to say about your new life, tell her to f*ck off.
Anyway, I hope that helped. And remember, you are allowed to relax and enjoy this beautiful time. Just do it with intention, presence and gratitude.
I love you all and I'm wishing you a magical Christmas season.
Soph xxx
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Your Reminder not to self-sabotage 'because it's Christmas'
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