15d • Weekly Newsletter
ESC Weekly #1 — Why Healing Feels So Uncomfortable at First
I want to start this first issue of ESC Weekly with something honest, something that every person in this community needs to hear, whether they’re healing from a breakup, learning boundaries, or just trying to feel like themselves again:
Healing doesn’t feel peaceful at the beginning.
It feels unfamiliar.
It feels empty.
It feels wrong.
And that doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re finally growing.
People often think that healing is supposed to feel like calm mornings, lightness, journaling, drinking tea, meditating, feeling whole again.
In reality… healing starts with discomfort.
It starts with the part of you that is still shaking, still missing someone, still craving old habits, still trying to figure out who you are without the chaos you once called connection.
You’re not in pain because you’re weak.
You’re in pain because you’re finally removing the emotional patterns that were numbing you.
And when you let go of something that once distracted you from yourself…
you’re forced to finally meet yourself.
That’s where the discomfort lives.
When you start healing, you’re not stepping into peace, you’re stepping into withdrawal.
Withdrawal from:
- Emotional intensity
- Inconsistent love
- Being needed
- Chasing validation
- The highs and lows of unhealthy connection
Your nervous system doesn’t care about what’s healthy.
It cares about what’s familiar.
So when you walk away from someone who couldn’t choose you…
or when you finally stay in No Contact…
or when you stop pleasing people and start protecting your peace…
Your body panics, because you made a choice you’ve never made before.
You’re stepping out of survival mode,
and your system doesn’t know what to do with the quiet.
That quiet can feel like emptiness.
It can feel like loneliness.
It can feel like something is missing.
This is where everyone gets confused:
“If they weren’t good for me… why do I miss them?”
“If I’m healing… why does this feel so uncomfortable?”
“If this is the right choice… why does my body feel wrong?”
Because missing someone has nothing to do with whether they were healthy for you.
You don’t miss them. You miss the chemistry, the pattern, the emotional predictability, even if it was harmful.
Letting go isn’t just emotional — it’s chemical.
You’re rewiring pathways that were built through:
- Dopamine
- Cortisol
- Attachment loops
- Nervous system spikes
So of course it feels uncomfortable.
Of course your mind reaches back.
Of course your body tells you to return to what it knew.
But discomfort doesn’t mean “go back.”
It means “keep going.”
For years — maybe your whole life — your identity was built on survival:
- “If I can just make them happy…”
- “If I give more, they’ll stay…”
- “If I keep trying, it’ll fix itself…”
But healing is the opposite.
Healing says:
- “I don’t abandon myself anymore.”
- “I set the boundary.”
- “I walk away when it hurts.”
And because your body has never been here before, it feels strange.
That strange feeling is actually stability.
You’re just not used to it yet.
The emptiness?
Makes room for peace.
The discomfort?
Makes room for regulation.
The lack of chaos?
Makes room for clarity.
You aren’t going backwards.
You’re recalibrating.
This is what growth feels like on the inside.
This is the version of you that doesn’t chase.
Doesn’t over-give.
Doesn’t cling to inconsistency.
Doesn’t lose themselves trying to keep someone else.
You’re meeting the “you” who actually chooses peace.
And that version is new.
Healing feels uncomfortable at first because you’re breaking an identity you’ve outgrown.
This is the part where most people quit.
They interpret discomfort as danger.
But you’re here — reading this — which means you’re strong enough to stay.
Keep going.
Reflection Prompt of the Week ✨
Take a quiet moment and ask yourself:
“What am I feeling right now that I used to run from?”
Write whatever comes up.
That’s where your biggest growth is.
Community Question (Comment Below) 👇
What part of healing has felt the most unfamiliar or uncomfortable for you so far?
Your words might be exactly what someone else needs today.
If healing feels messy, strange, or empty right now,
that doesn’t mean you’re lost.
It means you’re finally seeing your life without the noise.
You are not failing.
You are not broken.
You are not going backwards.
You are becoming emotionally stable in a way you’ve never been before.
And one day soon, the calm that feels uncomfortable now…
will become the peace you never thought you’d be able to hold.
Let’s grow into this version of you — together.
– Brelin
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ESC Weekly #1 — Why Healing Feels So Uncomfortable at First
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