When Responsibility Is Clean, Boundaries Feel Calm

Hey team. Writing this from a place I’ve been sitting with all week.

Something I’m noticing more clearly lately is how often we confuse responsibility with self-blame.

Especially in close dynamics. Work, relationships, leadership.

Someone reacts strongly to something we did, and we immediately start asking, “What did I do wrong?”

Sometimes the answer is: something.

And sometimes the answer is: not what you think.

What’s been helpful for me is slowing down and getting very precise.

What did I actually do or say.

What was my intent.

What part of this is genuinely mine to own.

And just as importantly, what isn’t.

When responsibility gets blurry, boundaries feel tense and heavy.

When responsibility is clean, boundaries feel calm.

You can take ownership without carrying someone else’s emotions for them.

That distinction alone has changed how grounded I feel in hard moments.

Curious how this shows up for you.

Where have you noticed yourself taking on weight that wasn’t actually yours to carry?

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