7d • General discussion
What's Your Priority?
Hi there! This community is still pretty tiny, and while we're building it, this is an opportunity for our current members to take advantage of the intimacy of this group. People will join this group for a number of reasons:
1) Because they want to uplevel their success in business or leadership
2) Because they want to finally break through the mindset blocks that keep them from advancing
3) Because they want to learn how to master their emotions - to stay grounded even in high-stakes situations
4) To be part of a community that "gets it" and is driven by supportive collaboration.
Yesterday, a friend called to share her experience of being rear-ended while she was parked in a parking lot. The two men in the pickup that rammed her little car emerged yelling and swearing at her as though it was her fault. She remained calm.
The driver then denied that he had hit her at all. She showed him the evidence (the large scratch on her hatchback door). He continued to gaslight her, saying that she couldn't prove that his vehicle did it. She remained calm.
The other male who had previously been belligerent as well now noticed that she was being reasonable and his friend (the driver) was not. He then attempted to mediate the discussion. His friend continued to bluster. She remained calm. The driver said he never felt anything, therefore they had not collided. She pointed to the spectators inside the donut shop who were all avidly watching this exchange. She noted that they were all witnesses and would probably corroborate her side of the story. She then calmly pointed out that he wasn't being very "manly" trying to intimidate a woman. She further told him that she used to drive a full-size school bus, and that she was aware that people driving large vehicles often don't notice when they hit small ones. He retorted that he couldn't have hit her, because he was looking... she replied that she knows for sure that he hit her because she was in the car when it happened and the whole car moved.
Back and forth, back and forth... she remained calm; he remained escalated and defensive. In the end, with the help of the mediator, they decided not to go through insurance because it would have cost them both more money. She ended the conversation by telling him to do better and to drive more carefully in the future.
What was her priority? To diffuse the situation, find a fair resolution, and to carry on with her day. She was able to achieve her goals by remaining emotionally regulated and sticking to the issue. She didn't take the rage bait, nor did she succumb to the other driver's intimidation tactics. She held her ground.
(Did she bawl her eyes out after it was over? Of course! That was her body's way of releasing the residual tension and helping her nervous system to reset so she could continue on with her day).
Would you like to have that same level of emotional mastery? To remain cool under pressure, and to help your nervous system quickly reset after a crisis? That's why we're here. If you haven't already done so, please look through the classroom and take advantage of the free resources. And if you're ready to go deeper, reach out and let's get you set up with one of our coaching packages.
Warmly,
Julie
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What's Your Priority?
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