11d (edited) • General discussion
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Hello Brothers,
I wanted to send love and positive energy to you all. I drove to Atlanta Sunday evening and I’ve been here since with my family for the holiday weekend. I realized I missed both calls and I apologize for not communicating my absence with more detail beforehand. Given the timing and unique circumstances I doubt this will happen again.
I drove up here to spend time with my mom; she’s on her journey to healing from alcoholism so this has been such a beautiful experience for me to see her in her glow. My younger brother Spartacus (lives here too) is only 2 years apart from me. We have such a special bond because, you all know that have been there to hear my story, it was he and I for most of my childhood. He has seen & experienced what I speak about in our container.
My brother’s father was abusive and my mother escaped shortly after my brother was born. Even though she left him, his abusive behavior was imprinted on me. I transferred whatever abusive energy I received onto my younger brother and that eventually created a void between us for many years. Especially after my stepfather met my mother and he was just as bad with his hands. Even though I felt he was evil, my brother took to him because of his on father wound. He never was able to meet his biological father where he would be able to remember him.
So before I began my shadow work I never fully accepted that my brother and I may have internalized my stepfathers energy differently. And with that I was too immature to see past it so we clashed more than we meshed and that was fuel to an already burning fire where two boys are growing up together. As we got older and I moved to my aunts for highschool our paths separated.
Overtime he heard the stories of my failures and made his own judgements of me, ridiculed me, even down right fist fought me in a vendetta he admitted was fuel by resentment of me because of how I treated him when we were younger I write this all to give context.
I spent energy trying to reimagine my relationship with my brother internally because he was someone that was there for most of my journey. This week something shifted. I was myself unapologetically and the screenshot you see is what he sent me today after we wrapped up our time together.
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