10d • General discussion
Having free time on my calendar does not mean I have the capacity to take on more.
It took me several years to embody this truth: Having free time on my calendar does not mean I have the capacity to take on more.
Urgency culture demands that we always be “on” and available, but always holding the default nervous system and being the emotional regulator everyone relies on takes a significant toll.
May we all remember:
- I am allowed to delegate and take breaks from it all.
- I do not have to always take the lead.
- I can practice getting more comfortable with letting some balls drop.
As you read the following reminders from the nervous system, I invite you to notice: which one is resonating most with your heart today?
Urgency culture says:
Overriding the cues of my nervous system and neglecting my needs is just part of being of service to others.
But perhaps your nervous system says:
I do not need to live in a consistent state of hypervigilance and view everything as an emergency. I can slow down, rest often, and honor my boundaries. All of which support my resourcing, bandwidth, and ability to give. My trauma responses deserve healing and care.
Urgency culture says:
Just be more “resilient.”
But perhaps your nervous system says:
Resilience can be slowness for the nervous system, releasing urgency, and creating space. It can be letting myself fall apart without the pressure to quickly “fix” or “find a solution.” It can be honoring the needs of the current season and remembering that it won't always be this hard. It can be allowing myself to do less when I am coping with more.
Urgency culture says:
I am exhausted but I have to just power through.
But perhaps your nervous system says:
I do not need to prioritize myself last anymore or view my own health as an afterthought. I can practice gentleness with myself when I need more rest/recovery than others. I deserve so much more than survival mode.
Urgency culture says:
I measure my worth by how much I get done.
But perhaps your nervous system says:
I don't have to only associate a meaningful life with chaos and busyness or always filling the space. My productivity does not determine my worth. I can trust that my growth is still (and especially) happening in my moments of stillness.
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Having free time on my calendar does not mean I have the capacity to take on more.
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