Still keeping a rhythm with my Outbiard Dad channel and celebrating a win!

I have been quiet the last handful of weeks. Not only being busy with Jazlynn, but also processing what has been going on in the adoption process. Grief hits me in waves and at times almost paralyzes me from wanting to push through and keep moving forward in the process of growing our family, as well as in my business because it’s been hard to make plans. So I just ask prayers for our family that we can continue to trust God’s plan and to continue to raise funds for adoption. Jazlynn has been a rock in the process for an 8 year old, working through her own grief but also having faith so strong that she has helped me too. It’s been a wild ride.

What a blessing today’s class was. I knew originally we weren’t having class and when I saw the text come through I almost didn’t get on. To be honest I woke up extremely sad today and so did Jaz and it wasn’t easy getting her to go to school, but I have to teach her we have to continue on even when there are trials. Last Wednesday after Charlie’s death I already felt such a heaviness, really one I don’t ever feel at other times when I hear of a celebrity dying. I know why this was different, then the heaviness carried into the next day when I spoke with our caseworker for the adoption and she told me she had concerns. But that afternoon I had a choice to make. Take Jazlynn to be part of a parade with our dance studio or live in fear and sadness. We went to the parade and it was amazing to be able to worship God in the streets with a bunch of kids and teens with praise music. Singing and dancing. Fast forward to Monday and finding out birth mom decided to parent her baby. And knowing I had to tell Jaz. It might be one of the hardest things to do. Hearing Sean teach on Proverbs 17:3 had me think a lot about myself and my reactions this past week in our own personal furnace. I’ve said I trust God but wondering myself if I fully believe that I trust him. Was I only trusting because things seemed to be going so well. I am proud of how well I’m handling things. My friends are amazed that I’m not angry. But this is an opportunity for me to be an example for Jazlynn and those looking on and watching that even when this journey is hard we are still trusting God and we have a community of friends who are here for us and praying with us and quite literally holding me up. There are still blessings even in the valleys and I am trying to teach Jaz that, make Philip realize it, and the onlookers as well.

I just wanted to share how blessed I feel to be a part of this group and the wisdom I have learned in Gods word and Sean’s teachings. Today I got an email from Ancel who is sponsoring my YouTube channel where I teach and share Outboard motor repairs and maintenance. Ancel makes a diagnostic tool and has sponsored my channel. The email from them was to ask if I would have any way to promote a new product they have that is a thermal imaging camera. Gods timing is amazing as I was able to let them know that I am in Atlanta speaking about energy loss in commercial buildings and this tool will help people see thoses losses and that I need the full description of the product and discuss how we can partner. Gods Favor for sure! Amen! Now I’m off to enjoy the day with my girlfriend!

The fear of the Lord is strong confidence “is what Proverbs 14:26 says. And in Sean’s explination describing a fortified city guarding our hearts. I had a challenging day yesterday, you know one of those days where you wonder if what you are doing is right. Fortunately for me I have some good people around me that I can ask to guide me. This teaching calling the God has me in is a new learning experience and if I’m honest harder that I thought in some ways. A few kids pushed their limits to my breaking point and I had to draw the line with them and be stern. I shut down all activities and demanded they all sit in there seats with a loud stern voice. Two of the kids were saying they were sorry as I went on in this tone informing them that they would have been fired from their job on the spot if they were working in this field. Then I proceeded to try and wake them up with stories of people I worked with that never went home because of behavior like this the either killed them or crippled them for life. I continued that if I can’t trust you now I can’t trust you with the tools , electricity, refrigerant, and so many other dangerous activities. I let them sit for a few minutes to think about what just happened. Then I have then the last 10 minutes to clean up as I watched with my arms folded and no smile on my face. I told them then that they are so smart with what they have done so far but this behavior is grounds for dismissal from the program. I now realize I am blessed because most high schools teachers don’t have that power to take the kid out of a program. But these kids had to qualify to be in this HVaC shop class. So I prayed and asked that our almighty, all knowing, all powerful God of all understanding help me to keep the boundaries so these kids stay safe. I can only move forward with the confidence that God is my refuge and will give me the strength to continue to learn and manage what he has given me to do.