Hello all, I was listening to some music I made around this time last year and thought maybe this would be the best time to share on this platform to motivate me to make new music! I was inspired by the artists Arca and Autechre, who make loops of sounds that are reversed, stretched, delayed and haunted. Hope you all enjoy! 💖🎃 Here is my SoundCloud link just in case the music file attached doesn’t work: https://on.soundcloud.com/jDr2gKwtARMcDUV1AH Also, I would love to hear what music everyone is listening to currently :)

This year has been a difficult one for many of us. From transitions in career, relationships, to losses and political chaos. One way or another, the collective is going through a shift. I have spoken about my personal heartbreak this year during some of our calls, and since we are now out of Eclipse energy, I feel I am ready to share some deep insights that have helped me in my healing process, which has led me to a new perspective in life. First, I want to share that we just entered into the Fall Equinox, which marks the nine nights of Durga Devi, Navaratri! From Sept. 22nd to Oct. 2nd. The energy of the Dark Goddess allows us to move through the different forms and blessings these nights hold. Biggest takeaways from unrequited love: 1️⃣ Not everyone can hold what you hold. Some people may have good intentions and theoretically want to hold a container of devotion, but they are unable to actualize that in real time. Others are manipulative, so give space to see someone’s real capacity. 2️⃣ Give time for commitment. In the beginning stages, confrontation and disagreement is a telling point to see if this person’s conflict management style is compatible with yours. For example, someone can show up wholeheartedly, but once uncomfortable or in an uneasy situation, they show where they are unhealed or unwilling to go to meet you in those shadow areas. 3️⃣ Be honest and authentic. By stating your truth and showing up authentically, it allows someone to know you fully and see if they can truly handle you, or if it’s too much. It’s better to find out earlier than later. 4️⃣ The past is the past for a reason. Although we learn from our past relationships, there is no reason to bring up names, details, etc. This helps to start a clean slate and to stop any projections. If you need to express personal issues, you do so with a close confidante or trusted leader. 5️⃣ Soothe and regulate your nervous system. Relationships are mirrors to some of our most ideal and also shadow selves. It is easy to be triggered by the actions of another. If you need to share and state boundaries, you must do so with a grounded nervous system. What could be an honest need can be looked at as an insecurity depending on how it is delivered. Have tough conversations when you feel full, not empty or enraged.

This past week, I have been in an inner search for my center after having a few things come up with the dark moon ~ new moon ~ Retrograde Saturn, and Mercury. I have found myself in a new relationship that had been going steady for 3 months, no major hiccups until one week ago. A tough conversation that triggered both my disorganized and his avoidant attachment styles. I found myself at a distance not from him but from myself. Emotions arose from abandonment and rejection, assumptions, because of the call for a pause. I let myself be open to then find myself having to deeply self-soothe. Not the 35-year-old but the 17-year-old. I was brought back to the memory of my first love. I had no idea who I was then; I had no idea that I was a highly sensitive empath. I didn’t know how to process being heartbroken at the time. So, I slept and I ate only one meal a day for several months. I found myself thin, sick, and totally out of harmony. The emotions this week reminded me of this period of suppression. I cried, feeling hopeless. I searched within to find solace. I called on my support systems of friends and mentors. Today, I felt a calm realization come through… This purge, This storm, This release... It's more than just a heartbreak. It’s grief and mourning for my teacher, for my old communities. For the past that I have had to walk away from. I feel comfortable sharing more as I continue to heal the shadows that arose. Sharing this breakthrough, I am currently in the midst of with this group, because this is the dance of the shadow. This is why I created this community because I want there to be a space for healers and artists to unravel themselves and find support in whatever process they find themselves in. Living in the States these past 2.5 Years has brought me to some of my highest peaks and lowest valleys. From business movement to personal relationships that have ended or transformed. ✨ As healers, we must build our lifestyles to honor not only the service we give to others but the space we need to integrate our own shadow and light dance.

This past weekend, I was able to attend a yoga retreat with my friends at Yoga Marga, which was dedicated to designing the liberated life that we desire. We explored limiting beliefs, hypnosis pathways to the low and high roads, played with our inner child and dreamt of our wildest dreams. ➡️A few of my biggest takeaways from the weekend: ✅ There is no wrong way to do anything but unlimited ways to do it better. ✅ It doesn’t make you more spiritual when you self-sacrifice or remain in poverty consciousness. When we confront these limited beliefs about our value, we actually expand our capacity to be more responsible for our gifts and services to humanity. ✅ We procrastinate for two reasons: We aren’t experiencing the pain of not following through and/or not allowing the pleasure/satisfaction of taking action. ✅ Switching into a “Yes and” model can create powerful paradigm shifts, healthy boundaries, and deescalate negative situations (influences). I would love to continue to share many nuggets of wisdom and realizations with you all. 💫 See you at our first SDM circle today at 4 pm PST/ 7 pm EST. Link in Calendar! [We will go through a meditational journey to discuss insights and breakthroughs. Receive support for your professional and personal lives!] Sat Nam, Deanna