16 hours in 🙌

These cravings are hitting early, i really wanna get through day 1 successfully Help 😪

Last night I was working at the country club hosting a party for 25 people. Another manager helped me set everything up, and when I asked what she’d be doing during the party (assuming she’d stick around to help with business stuff and teardown), she casually told me she was leaving for the night as soon as we finished setup. So there I was - alone with a whole party to manage and all the teardown to handle by myself afterwards. The party ran late, the building was empty except for me, and I started feeling that familiar pit in my stomach. I wasn’t safe. I had a choice to make: stay here alone, unsafe, and let anxiety take over (which could spiral into something much worse), or leave some work for tomorrow and get myself to safety. Two years ago, I would have stayed. I would have pushed through, gotten worked up, let the anxiety consume me, and probably made some really bad decisions to cope with those feelings. But recovery has taught me something crucial: if I don’t feel safe, my reaction is severe anxiety. And severe anxiety can be a direct path back to using. It’s MY job to recognize that pattern and protect myself from it. So I made the hard choice. I left. I came in early this morning when the sun was up and finished everything then. Might I get in trouble at work? Maybe. But you know what? I’ll be sober to handle whatever conversation comes my way. I’ll be clear-headed and able to explain my decision from a place of strength rather than chaos. Sometimes protecting our recovery means disappointing people. Sometimes it means making choices others don’t understand. Sometimes it means choosing what’s safe over what’s expected. And that’s not just okay - that’s SMART. That’s growth. That’s me staying in the driver’s seat of my own life instead of letting circumstances control my choices. I’m proud of myself for recognizing the situation, trusting my instincts, and putting my safety and sobriety first. Because without those, nothing else matters. To anyone reading this who’s struggling with similar choices: trust yourself. Your recovery is worth protecting. You’re worth protecting. And the right people will understand that.

Yesterday’s I reached 700 Consecutive Days Clean from All Hard Drugs Tonight I reached 23 Consecutive Months Clean from All Hard Drugs #wedorecover I remember Those nights of addiction and homelessness are etched in my memory - the cold, the hunger, the thirst, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness. With little money and no one to turn to, I was consumed by anxiety and desperation, seeking escape through substance abuse, but ultimately forced to face the harsh reality of my situation. It’s a constant reminder of everything I could lose in a second I lost so so much to my addiction and day by day not only am I still clean but I’m healing the scars that lead to my use in the first place, I slowly began to rebuild my life, even securing a cozy apartment near the hospital in February 2023. Still, I couldn't shake off my demons, and my addiction led me down a path of bingeing with fake friends on the 17th of Dec exactly a month and 2 days after my last serious overdose where I had to be saved by two doses of NARCAN I took my last drug and decided to try get clean before i ended up dying in my addiction at first I got through withdrawal one day at a time When I overdosed and decided to seek help, I lost the people I thought were my friends. However, I realized they were only using me for their own purposes. In the end, I gained something much more valuable – my sobriety and a chance to start anew. at first I doubted how I could function properly knowing I couldn’t pick up anymore I started journaling more as I made it thru my firsts in soberity and made the move from my one-bedroom apartment to a smaller townhouse down the road on May 31st, 2024. This transition occurred during a difficult time, as I had lost a close cousin just a week or so prior. To deal with my emotions, I began creating small routines that didn't involve substance use and focused on distracting myself from urges. I also started going for more walks to the park and bike rides as a coping mechanism. Eight months into my recovery, I was still facing a tough battle against cravings and PAWS withdrawals. Despite the challenges, I was still determined to stay on track and make progress, no matter how slow. I didn’t start posting much about my soberity til I made it to a year clean I’ll learned a lot about myself since getting clean and sober at a year of recovery I started to have a few self improvement realizations surrounding my drug craving getting to be lessened I could think clearer make clearer choices and manage to control my emotions better and in my selfharm recovery The scars on my arms are now white and less noticeable, which is an odd but welcome sign of healing it continues to fade in August of 2025 at around 19 months clean I started attending NA meetings and got introduced to the Narcotics Anonymous book and got a sponsor in Sept maintaining recovery is more then staying away from just the drugs it’s about learning new ways of living so your past doesn’t drag you back down to hell attending meetings and talking to other addicts in recovery helped a lot to keep the urges down I started to feel more comfortable living in my own skin not having drugs in my system to function I met people who really understood and wanted to see me change for the better I’ve been attending NA for a conservative 4 months now next month I’ll get my 2 years chip were not bad people getting well but hurt people finding healing Don’t judge an addict instead ask where’s the pain your trying to escape maybe you’ll see why addicts will do anything to escape their own reality. You don't just "treat addiction." You end up treating anxiety, depression, BPD, CPTSD, loneliness, rage, despair, toxic secrets, regret, undiagnosed head trauma, untreated ADHD.Then you realize addiction is often someone's best attempt to cope when they don't see other options we all hurt but we don’t have to deal with it through digging a hole into our addiction if only we remember to ask for help we can get better one day at a time The battle to resist the urges of addiction relapse can be very intense, and it often feels like torture. Especially with unknown or unexpected triggers but Recovery isn't a single achievement; it's a daily choice to fight addiction and keep my demons at bay. Maintaining my sobriety and recovery is a constant reminder that if I slip I could lose not only l material items but my health and in the end I could lose my life but it's a battle I must face every day even when it’s hard and giving up feels easier to do this fight is keeping me alive and well for those around me and I will continue to fight everyday to keep my sobriety, I'm trying my best hour by hour and day by day to stay for myself and those who love me I Recover Out Loud Because I Almost Died In Silence and I Won’t Let The Drugs Take Me Away We Do Recover We Do Get Clean We Do Get Yesterday’s I reached 700 Consecutive Days Clean from All Hard Drugs Tonight I reached 23 Consecutive Months Clean from All Hard Drugs #wedorecover I remember Those nights of addiction and homelessness are etched in my memory - the cold, the hunger, the thirst, and the overwhelming sense of loneliness. With little money and no one to turn to, I was consumed by anxiety and desperation, seeking escape through substance abuse, but ultimately forced to face the harsh reality of my situation. It’s a constant reminder of everything I could lose in a second I lost so so much to my addiction and day by day not only am I still clean but I’m healing the scars that lead to my use in the first place, I slowly began to rebuild my life, even securing a cozy apartment near the hospital in February 2023. Still, I couldn't shake off my demons, and my addiction led me down a path of bingeing with fake friends on the 17th of Dec exactly a month and 2 days after my last serious overdose where I had to be saved by two doses of NARCAN I took my last drug and decided to try get clean before i ended up dying in my addiction at first I got through withdrawal one day at a time When I overdosed and decided to seek help, I lost the people I thought were my friends. However, I realized they were only using me for their own purposes. In the end, I gained something much more valuable – my sobriety and a chance to start anew. at first I doubted how I could function properly knowing I couldn’t pick up anymore I started journaling more as I made it thru my firsts in soberity and made the move from my one-bedroom apartment to a smaller townhouse down the road on May 31st, 2024. This transition occurred during a difficult time, as I had lost a close cousin just a week or so prior. To deal with my emotions, I began creating small routines that didn't involve substance use and focused on distracting myself from urges. I also started going for more walks to the park and bike rides as a coping mechanism. Eight months into my recovery, I was still facing a tough battle against cravings and PAWS withdrawals. Despite the challenges, I was still determined to stay on track and make progress, no matter how slow. I didn’t start posting much about my soberity til I made it to a year clean I’ll learned a lot about myself since getting clean and sober at a year of recovery I started to have a few self improvement realizations surrounding my drug craving getting to be lessened I could think clearer make clearer choices and manage to control my emotions better and in my selfharm recovery The scars on my arms are now white and less noticeable, which is an odd but welcome sign of healing it continues to fade in August of 2025 at around 19 months clean I started attending NA meetings and got introduced to the Narcotics Anonymous book and got a sponsor in Sept maintaining recovery is more then staying away from just the drugs it’s about learning new ways of living so your past doesn’t drag you back down to hell attending meetings and talking to other addicts in recovery helped a lot to keep the urges down I started to feel more comfortable living in my own skin not having drugs in my system to function I met people who really understood and wanted to see me change for the better I’ve been attending NA for a conservative 4 months now next month I’ll get my 2 years chip were not bad people getting well but hurt people finding healing Don’t judge an addict instead ask where’s the pain your trying to escape maybe you’ll see why addicts will do anything to escape their own reality. You don't just "treat addiction." You end up treating anxiety, depression, BPD, CPTSD, loneliness, rage, despair, toxic secrets, regret, undiagnosed head trauma, untreated ADHD.Then you realize addiction is often someone's best attempt to cope when they don't see other options we all hurt but we don’t have to deal with it through digging a hole into our addiction if only we remember to ask for help we can get better one day at a time The battle to resist the urges of addiction relapse can be very intense, and it often feels like torture. Especially with unknown or unexpected triggers but Recovery isn't a single achievement; it's a daily choice to fight addiction and keep my demons at bay. Maintaining my sobriety and recovery is a constant reminder that if I slip I could lose not only l material items but my health and in the end I could lose my life but it's a battle I must face every day even when it’s hard and giving up feels easier to do this fight is keeping me alive and well for those around me and I will continue to fight everyday to keep my sobriety, I'm trying my best hour by hour and day by day to stay for myself and those who love me I Recover Out Loud Because I Almost Died In Silence and I Won’t Let The Drugs Take Me Away We Do Recover We Do Get Clean We Do Get Sober There Is A Life After Addiction One Day At A Time Everyday For One More Day 23 Months Clean redited version There Is A Life After Addiction One Day At A Time Everyday For One More Day 23 Months Clean redited version

New day, new sober wkend, i can do this 😊plz show ur support