Morning thoughts - I completely forgot to take the time for my morning thoughts. I had a productive day but I never made it to my storage unit. I did, however, confirm parking, sorted out insurance, verified my phone plan because the contract ended today, pumped up my car tires, showered, did laundry, interviewed Tatiana Ivanova for my Summit, and had my evening class for Tarot. We had the class in person tonight instead of on zoom. It was so much fun. My friend gave me a Tarot deck which I will treasure. I’m sleeping at her place tonight and will get up at 3:30am to get to the storage locker so I can pack. Thank goodness I dug my list out the other day. Three alarms are set, plus my friend set hers so she can see me off. Here’s to my crazy adventure! Cheers.

Morning thoughts - overwhelm I’m starting to feel overwhelmed because I’m trying to eat the whole elephant at once, when I know it’s one bite at a time. How quickly I forgot this is the best way to do it. It’s probably just the feeling everybody gets before they go on vacation and they have a billion things to do before leaving. And then they want everything cleaned and in place when they return. I really need to focus the next two days, and get as many videos edited as possible. I think it’s the video editing that is the underlying cause of my overwhelmed. I must remind myself all I can do is one video at a time and not think of the whole list. I need to use the same tactic as the To Do List where I just put three videos to edit in my calendar, and when those are done, I add three more - two more if that’s what makes it manageable. I’m also trying to let go of any concern with border patrol. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much but I think it’s giving my power away. I really have no control in the end of whether or not they let me in. But there’s absolutely no reason why they shouldn’t, and that’s what I need to focus on - do my due diligence, have everything ready, and then just go. I don’t even think that’s what is the concern – I think the concern is that I don’t have a back up plan and it’s starting to get cold here. Also most of what I’m spending for this trip is nonrefundable so it would need to be a very thrifty back up plan. I think I will be fine once I’m on my plane. And I must remember if it doesn’t go as I plan, it’s because God has a bigger and better plan. Everything always works out. So here I am pondering deep in my thoughts about stuff I have absolutely no control over, and things I can do in baby steps. So I shall get my butt out of bed and get going. But in my defense, it’s pretty cold and I’m toasty warm. Let the day begin… Today actually went pretty well - only had a few hiccups! I got all my errands done, emailed Skool about me messing up my account on my iPad. They half fixed it, and I assumed (silly me) that they fully fixed it. The end result was I messed it right back up again. However, had they updated my email, I wouldn’t have been able to repeat. So another email has been sent, and until then, I am grateful I can access Skool on my phone.

Morning thoughts – Vulnerability Vulnerability is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I have always been so afraid of judgment, other people‘s opinions, not being perfect, doing it wrong… Without vulnerability, it’s impossible to be authentic. When we are afraid of judgment, it’s because we are following societal norms because we want to belong. Belonging is a basic emotional need as it was survival to fit in and not be ejected from our tribe. If you watch little kids, they sing and dance their hearts out - they just are. It’s only when someone tells them something negative that the seed is planted - that they’re not good enough, not smart enough, or that they simply can’t do something for one reason or another. As soon as we are born, we’re put into a box. And that box has rules determined by our country, our culture, our family – and everything they represent. I often wonder how my life would have been had I been born into a different family, or in a different country. But then I also believe we choose our family when we come to earth. They are here to help us grow. I remember in grade 8 I wanted to learn how to play the drums. I brought a practice drum home from school and immediately sarcastic comments were being made towards me, before I so much as tried it. The result - I decided not to join the band option at school. I’ve also never touched a drum stick since. To this day I tell myself that I would not have been able to play the drums because I’m tone deaf. I don’t even know if I’m tone deaf because I’ve never focussed on trying to play an instrument. In grade 5, the music teacher was forming a choir, and my friend asked me to try out with her. She sang in church all the time - I never had. I didn’t make the choir, not because anyone told me directly that my voice wasn’t good enough, but because the teacher simply chose certain students - no different than trying out for a sports team - there are more students trying out than positions available. Still, I told myself I wasn’t any good and couldn’t sing. Since then, I don’t sing. I even try to avoid singing the national anthem at sporting events or “Happy Birthday” at parties, afraid people will think my voice sounds terrible. Thankfully, I am slowly getting over that.