@Mr Singh Something interesting here is that you posted this using the question tag, but I notice you did not at any point in your post ask a question. So I am not sure, actually, what you are looking for. Do you want advice? Just to be seen? Are you seeking support? Are you bragging? I am glad you are sharing your experience, whatever you are looking for. I can make an assumption of what it might be, that you are looking for, by trying to put myself into your shoes and imagine how I might feel, what I might want. And trust me when I say, I've been there. Porn Addictied. Broke. I was homeless and friendless for a while. Dependant on my father, unmotivated, addicted to the internet, always comparing.... yes to lots of this, it sounds familiar. I'm also bald, though I am now 32. so putting myself in your shoes is easy. Sometimes these things come to haunt me. but they do not rule my life in the same way. A few thoughts for your journey: 1. Expectations The answers you seek will not arrive in the way you expect. You probably have a belief of what you are supposed to do. who you should be or become, what that looks like, and are punishing yourself because that's not your reality. I am here to tell you that you have NO IDEA how it's supposed to go, and the solutions you seek will emerge from beyond what you currently are able to imagine. This will happen when you START doing things you don't normally do. You don't need to focus on stopping anything. It won't make it stop. Walk a different way home. Ask a question that you haven't asked before. Be open to being wrong or awkward and try something new. Put your pants on with a different leg first tomorrow morning. jerk off a different way. begin to try different things. to paraphrase the words of Albert Einstein " You cannot solve your current problems at the same level of awareness at which they were created." So accept now, that change will come unexpectedly, and if you allow yourself to do something new.